Dipping my toe in…

Is dating a hobby? If so, I don’t know how people enjoy it.

I’ve entered a period of time I call, “ready.” As I look at my surroundings, I’m noticing handsome men. That tells me I’m not dead and I am still attracted to humans.

After discussing dating apps at length with my girlfriends, I picked one. I know women who are on several sites, but I decided to start slowly.

Paralyzed by fear

After creating my profile, I clicked submit. Then, wham! There was a man’s face.

I panicked. My hands got sweaty and my pulse began to race. I had to put my tablet down. I wasn’t sure I was ready to actually see faces. I mean – there are people on the other side of that!

But then, I remembered something a dear friend told me a while back, “Fear is all in your head. It’s not a real thing.”

I know people who are afraid of heights and I just don’t understand it. I actually like heights. You can see so far! (Have I mentioned I’m 5’2″, so I have illusions of what it might be like to be tall?)

If your feet are planted, you’re good.

So, I jumped.


After swiping on a few guys, I got a notification that I had a match. Here it was: the moment of truth. But what to say? I haven’t really flirted with a guy in more than a decade. And I’ve never flirted with a guy online.

Luckily, the app gives you suggestions to help. Whew.

I tried a couple of those out, then I started to build confidence in my own abilities. I may not be a seasoned flirter yet, but I have talked with humans in the past. I know how to communicate.

Suddenly, I was having a conversation with a guy. Nothing big, just small talk.

And then, it happened: my heart filled with excitement. I was looking forward to talking with new gentlemen. What if there really is someone on the other side of this magical box that could be a match for me (or at least someone to have cocktails with)?


I’ve learned a lot from my girlfriends on when to keep engaging and when to move on.

  1. If he asks to meet immediately
  2. If he makes off-color sexual comments
  3. If he doesn’t ask any details about you and only talks about himself

There are plenty of other guidelines, but those three are the first line of defense.

And while I haven’t stepped out to meet any of these men just yet, I’m enjoying the anticipation of the next step.