Is dating a hobby? If so, I don’t know how people enjoy it.
I’ve entered a period of time I call, “ready.” As I look at my surroundings, I’m noticing handsome men. That tells me I’m not dead and I am still attracted to humans.
After discussing dating apps at length with my girlfriends, I picked one. I know women who are on several sites, but I decided to start slowly.
Paralyzed by fear
After creating my profile, I clicked submit. Then, wham! There was a man’s face.
I panicked. My hands got sweaty and my pulse began to race. I had to put my tablet down. I wasn’t sure I was ready to actually see faces. I mean – there are people on the other side of that!
But then, I remembered something a dear friend told me a while back, “Fear is all in your head. It’s not a real thing.”
I know people who are afraid of heights and I just don’t understand it. I actually like heights. You can see so far! (Have I mentioned I’m 5’2″, so I have illusions of what it might be like to be tall?)
If your feet are planted, you’re good.
So, I jumped.
After swiping on a few guys, I got a notification that I had a match. Here it was: the moment of truth. But what to say? I haven’t really flirted with a guy in more than a decade. And I’ve never flirted with a guy online.
Luckily, the app gives you suggestions to help. Whew.
I tried a couple of those out, then I started to build confidence in my own abilities. I may not be a seasoned flirter yet, but I have talked with humans in the past. I know how to communicate.
Suddenly, I was having a conversation with a guy. Nothing big, just small talk.
And then, it happened: my heart filled with excitement. I was looking forward to talking with new gentlemen. What if there really is someone on the other side of this magical box that could be a match for me (or at least someone to have cocktails with)?
I’ve learned a lot from my girlfriends on when to keep engaging and when to move on.
- If he asks to meet immediately
- If he makes off-color sexual comments
- If he doesn’t ask any details about you and only talks about himself
There are plenty of other guidelines, but those three are the first line of defense.
And while I haven’t stepped out to meet any of these men just yet, I’m enjoying the anticipation of the next step.