My personal gold medal

While my lovely kitchen table can be quite utilitarian, my bar stools aren’t the most comfortable writing chairs. Insert – a need for a desk.

I’ve cordoned off an office area in my apartment using my double-sided bookshelf to designate the “place where thinking and working happens.”

Even though most of my place is bathed in blues, silvers and whites, I decided my office needed to be a little more earthy. (In full transparency, I found a fun writing desk and it was gold. So I decided my entire office should be brown, gold and white.)

80 pounds of confusion

Unlike my kitchen table, I thought I could assemble the desk solo. Also unlike my kitchen table, this desk was rather heavy for one person to lift.

The label on the box used the metric system, so it wasn’t until I Googled the conversion that I realized the materials inside the large cardboard box weighed a total of 80 pounds.

I not-so-skillfully pulled each item out of the box and laid them flat on the concrete. As I’ve previously mentioned, I don’t enjoy reading instructions, so I was not looking forward to diving into this four-page document.

What the??

I pored over the image to the left for what seemed like 30 minutes. I couldn’t seem to get the holes to line up with the corresponding parts.

One configuration would result in empty space. Another would leave the quatrefoil bowed in a distorted pattern. A third just angered me.

Finally, I realized the diagram called for the quatrefoil topping to go between the open space of the other two pieces.

This is a joke, right?

With the first pieces safely assembled, it was time to move on to the legs. That’s when I noticed the “tab” that would serve as the conduit for the top of the desk was bent.

How does this even happen?!

Seeing as the entire desk is metal, I realized this was not something I could easily bend back into place.

I decided to take a leap of faith and keep moving. At first, it didn’t appear to impact the assembly. Everything slipped into place.

But then (big surprise) when I started adding the bolts, they didn’t line up, causing the top of the desk to fall out of alignment.

All out of alignment.

Eventually, I was able to finagle it enough to get things to line up.

Then I stood the pieces up as directed. That’s when a bolt popped out and landed across the room. It was as if the bolt just gave up and jumped ship on this project.

I recovered the bolt and tried again. After cursing out loud to no one in particular, I was able to tighten it securely. This time, it stayed there.

The finish line

It was time to move the shell of the desk to its future home, and introduce the large sheet of glass into the picture. This one item was a good portion of the 80-pound box. The desktop was heavy, bulky and breakable. Not the best thing for me to be handling all by myself.

Somehow, I was able to slide it into place without breaking it or any of my fingers!

Alongside a blue velvet desk chair, this is my sanctuary to document these adventures in hobby hunting. Now, to decorate it…

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