Growing up the number 13 was my favorite number. Why? Because everyone else said it was bad luck. I wanted to show “them” it could be lucky.
It served me well for most of my life. But this year… not so much.
Today I would have celebrated my 13th anniversary with my partner (affectionately known as my taste-tester to my loyal readers). We split right around the time I really dove into this blog. I distinctly remember his sweet-tooth-prone-self saying, “Oh now you start baking?!”
Breaking the norms
Our relationship has always been one that didn’t really follow the rules.
He is 4 years younger than me.
We didn’t want children.
We didn’t want to get married. I refused to even call him my boyfriend (we are both adults, not children). So, he coined a new term for who he was to me: my manpanion.
We always said “forever” isn’t a real thing.
So, as we split it wasn’t odd to me that we decided to stay friends. We didn’t bicker over who got the silverware (me), who got the big leather sofa (him) or which of us would keep the cat (me – of course). There was no “post-it” night. We just knew what belonged to whom.
Exactly the type of thing the number 13 would do; it’s not status-quo.
From We to Me
I constantly find myself still saying, “We did xyz,” or “We decided 123.”
I recently met a woman who had gone through a similar situation. She and her partner had broken up a couple of years ago after a long time. She noticed this tick in my vernacular and called me out on it.
“What did you say?”
“We’d lived there for 2 years.”
“You mean, you’ve lived there for 2 years? You still live there. You still exist.”
Well, yes. I was part of “we.” Until I wasn’t. I’m now a “me.”
I give you this background to set up another topic for this blog: Turning “we” into “me.” That includes home improvement projects (I had no idea what one used polyurethane for), trying new things like volunteering and (one day) dating.
It’s taken me a bit to feel comfortable enough to write about this. But, I thought what better day to share my new journey than today? On lucky 13.